Shameless
Hey family!
Have you guys ever watched that show “Shameless”?
…I haven’t. And there’s literally nothing I’m about to write that relates to the content in the show so…APOLOGIES for anyone that clicked on this looking forward to Shameless content. Maybe next time?
Anyways, what I would like to do is focus on the word “shameless.” Typically, the word has a pretty negative connotation associated with it, but for this week’s newsletter I’m going to encourage you to live without shame or guilt.
I used to spend a lot of time feeling guilty for mistakes I’ve made in the past or things I could’ve done better. Hindsight is always 20/20…and looking back on some situations, I used to beat myself up for the things I’ve done, said, or decisions I’ve made.
Before long, this created a cycle of thinking that really snowballed into some very damaging beliefs about myself. The residual guilt and shame left me feeling like I didn’t deserve mercy or good things in my life. And when I felt like I didn’t truly deserve good things in my life because of my past, it became virtually impossible to align my choices in a way that would put me in a position to receive good things in my life.
If this sounds familiar, what I’m attempting to describe is a guilt-driven version of self-sabotage. Dwelling on my not-so-shining moments of the past had led me to believe that I had to carry the guilt around on my shoulders for the rest of my life, and that I wasn’t worthy of good things.
Then, one of my mentors opened my eyes to a different perspective, one that was centered around showing myself mercy and understanding. It was then that I realized a simple fact: I am doing the best that I can with what I have and what I know. And years/months/weeks/days ago, I was also doing the best I could with what I had and what I knew.
The more I experience, I’m able to take lessons from situations that help me learn and grow. And although sometimes I grow from learning from my successes, MOST of my growth comes from f*cking up…sometimes terribly. But I recognize that my only job is to learn from it and let it mold me into a better human.
There was nothing to be ashamed about. There was never any reason to drag my guilt behind me like a kid with a blanket. I didn’t have to keep blaming myself today for the mistakes, mishaps, or unfortunate circumstances from yesterday.
Now if you’re reading this and you’re thinking, “no way, mac. I’ve done _____ and ____ and then I failed at ____. There are many things I could be ashamed about,” then let me assure you, breaking free of a shameful, guilty mindset is not easy by any means, but it is so extremely worth it.
Freeing yourself of guilt and shame from the past is one of the first steps to being present. Shame and guilt have no place in our lives if we wish to make our minds a safe place!
So let’s set one thing straight. You deserve every good thing in life. You deserve every one of your heart’s desires, not because of anything you’ve done, but simply because you exist. Your existence is so special that it should be celebrated. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. There is no reason at all for you to carry around your guilt.
Now, I believe that with everything in me. But like everything else in these newsletters, you need to take it and make it your own in order to experience a real perspective shift and see it’s impact on your life!
In the words of Carl Jung, be mindful that,
“shame is a soul-eating emotion.”
Reflection question of the week: What can you forgive yourself for that you’ve been holding onto?
