My Real Graduation
Hey family!
(Fair warning: this week’s write up doesn’t exactly have a specific theme. It’s more of a thought-spill on some recent life events, but I’m hoping that you still can take something from my experience that can add value or insight to yours. If not, well…close your eyes or something)
I graduated this weekend, marking a key accomplishment so far in my life. And typically, graduation is a symbol of how far you’ve come, how much you’ve grown, and everything you’ve learned along the way.
But for me, my real graduation was having dinner with my dad the night before the actual ceremony. For context, I hadn’t seen him in two years, I met him for the first time when I was 17 years old, and we might’ve said a collective four sentences between the both of up until this week. You can probably imagine the intense amount of mixed feelings I’ve had towards him growing up, and I had absolutely no idea what I was setting myself up for by agreeing to grab dinner.
I got to the restaurant first and waited VERY anxiously to see him come through the doors. While I sat there, I realized that if it wasn’t for the pics of himself he’s sent me in recent months, I might not have even remembered what he looked like. The longer I sat there, I became overwhelmed with anxiety, anger, and sadness as my mind brought back to remembrance the many times he had not shown up in my life.
But he came. He came just like he said he would, and for me that in and of itself was a huge deal. We started talking about anything and everything: NBA playoffs, school, random things, and some hard things, too.
I realized then, in talking to him for three straight hours with the time flying by, that this is something I’ve wanted all along. The kid in me was smiling from ear to ear, absolutely ecstatic. But it also become abundantly clear to me how much I had changed as a person since the last time I was with him and what a massive difference practicing mindfulness and awareness was having on my life and my relationships.
Now, by no means am I saying things are perfect now. We both have our work cut out for us in terms of building a relationship and making up for the lost time. Those complex, messy emotions still remain in place. But because of the work I’ve done internally to unravel my thoughts and feelings (with plenty of guidance from the best mentor in the world), I was able to experience dinner with my dad with a perspective that allowed me to walk away from it with nothing but gratitude. I allowed myself to feel everything: my fear of rejection, my fear of abandonment, uncertainty, anger, and sadness. Choosing to take that present moment as it was, feelings and all, was a true marker of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown as a person.
So I want to encourage you today to do the work. Take the reflection questions and work through your answers honestly. Work through the unpleasant, dark, and muddy waters of your heart and seek to know yourself. Stick to it and trust that you’ll be able to look back and see not just how much you’ve grown, but how strong you always were. Because this was never just health and fitness and mental health, this is learning that the how-to guide to maneuvering life is in each of us, is different for all of us, and that all we need to do to find our next best steps is to get to know ourselves a little better.
There are three things I want to leave you with:
Don’t underestimate the power of time. Wait.
Do your inner work in the meantime. Become the person that is ready to receive what you’ve been praying for/wanting.
Even if you aren’t sure, go. Even when you feel like you aren’t ready, do it. Do it anyways, and go anyways. Always!
The quote for this week is courtesy of my dad:
“We missed a lot of time together. But we don’t have to miss the rest.”
Reflection question(s) of the week: Is there a recent situation in which you can see how much you’ve grown over the past few months? What can you celebrate yourself for this week?
