“Not What I Want”

Hey family!

I like to think I know best. I like to think that in all of my infinite wisdom gained over a whopping 22 years of life, what I want is always what I need.

But I’ve never been more grateful for the many times I didn’t get what I wanted. Though it’s only apparent to me in hindsight, I realize that what I got instead of what I wanted was what was actually best.

I have someone in my life who I could write for hours and hours about, but since this isn't a love letter, I'll spare you the theatrics (for once).

I had tried to transfer going into my senior year of college, and I wanted more than anything to play for a different basketball team. And after having to return to Duquesne without being on someone’s roster, I was just about as far removed from what I wanted as I could be.

One night, with my newfound spare time that normally would’ve been spent on the court, I went to hang out in a friend’s room. That night, my friend introduced me to someone who has changed my life for the better.

If I had gotten what I wanted so badly, I wouldn’t have been in the right place, with the right people, at just the right time to meet her.

Being introduced to her was the result of the summation of all of my disappointments.

Meeting her was a byproduct of not getting what I had wanted so badly.

So no, I didn’t get what I wanted. And if I had, it probably would’ve been good. But I’m fortunate enough to say that what I got instead of good was best.

The lens through which we look at life determines what we see in our reality, and the way we choose to see disappointment is critical in how we respond to it. So I choose to look at not getting what I want as protection from things that may not have been best for me. I refuse to see disappointments as the end result or failure.

So here is the simplest, truest sentence I’ll ever write: everything that happens to you is always working together for your best interest. It may not be what you want in the moment, but trust that it is always for your best.

The quote for the week comes from Napoleon Hill:
“Opportunity…it often comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat.”

Reflection question: What disappointments can you choose to see as something working for your benefit?